TOURISTS CAN BE SO ANNOYING
By Mary Wright (me)
Martik walked up to Two-it, rolling his eyes. “Tourists can be so annoying.”
“Tell me about it,” Two-it replied. “Can’t they pick another planet to bring their bratty little kids to?”
“I don’t know,” Martik replied, “I mean, maybe we gotta pity them. Maybe their radar’s ancient, and only picked up on ours.”
“No, I mean it,” Martik said, “Maybe we’re the only ones on their radars.”
“Like I said, lucky us.”
Martik and Two-it went silent as these supposed tourists walked by.
They were wearing clothing that had bright, colorful swirling patterns, paired with coverings that only covered half of their bottom limbs.
Rubber-sounding wrappings covered their feet. They also had things that covered their eyes – pieces of some sort of dark material preventing onlookers from seeing if they were asleep or awake.
“I don’t get it,” Two-it said a little too loudly.
“What did you say?” asked one of the tourists, in a swinging-sounding tone, maybe like one of those cowboys would have.
“You made the tourist angry,” Martik told him telepathically. To the tourist, it only looked like a pointed look between two good friends.
“Enjoy your visit!” Two-it said, a little too cheerily.
“We will!” said a shorter tourist that hadn’t yet spoke. “Your planet is so interesting!”
Martik paused. It seemed genuine. “You think so, little one?”
“I’m not little,” said the shorter tourist in a high-pitched, confident voice. “But yes. It’s great, from what I’ve seen so far.”
“Enjoy your visit,” Martik said, and he meant it.
“If everyone is as nice as you,” said the shorter tourist, “Well, we certainly will.”
“That’s enough, Marie.” said the first tourist. “They could be dangerous.”
The shorter tourist waved one of their top limbs, and Martik did what he could with his non-human anatomy to achieve a similar sentiment. Once they seemed to be out of ear shot, Two-it spoke up.
“If we’re so dangerous, why’d they come here?” he asked.
“Everywhere’s dangerous when you think about it,” Martik answered.
Two-it sat down heavily, forgetting about tourists for a while. Everything’s dangerous. He hadn’t thought of the universe like that before.